Be where you are
October 3, 2011 at 4:30 am 2 comments
Every now and then I find that I am just “there”. You know, that place that has you feeling, as my BFF says, some kinda way. I’m just there. It’s not like I intentionally try to go there. I simply find that I’m there. And as my “surrogate” Mom Judy likes to say, “You just gotta be where you are.”
It all started on August 22nd. It was the kids’ first day of school, and we had just settled into our new house-for-rent. And then “life” started to happen. The earthquake…followed by the hurricane…the collapsed bathroom ceiling…the flooded basement…the DirecTV satellite dish landing on the front lawn when the roof was being replaced…the light bulb shooting out of the socket and flying across the room…the THREE well-child visits…the THREE expedited immunization records at 50 bucks a pop…the unexplained rashes and ringworms…the massive “hiccup” at work (not the “up” I want to use, but I’ll keep it clean) …the soccer-game-football-game-back-to-back-birthday-parties-for-Thing-Two-and-Thing-Three (one at Chuck E. Cheese and one at the Playseum!) all in the same day…the untimely nail in the rear tire’s sidewall leading to $800 of new tires…the au pair princess drama…the endless sonnet of “Mommy!” “Mommy!” “Mommy!” “Mommy!” “I need” “I need” “I need”…the government shut down, or maybe not, at least not until Tuesday…and so on and so on and so on. In short, I feel like I am living the Plagues from the book of Exodus!
Today, I tried to defy my “Mom’s” advice and force myself out of “there”. A BATH!!! That’s what I need. A BATH!!! A long, hot soak complete with bath oil and candles and my favorite Sade tunes. So simple, and yet so Brilliant…but for three little challenges. How would I occupy the three little ones long enough for a soak — you know, with the satellite dish on the front lawn and all? I had the answer!
“If you all behave nicely while I take a bath, I’ll take you to McDonald’s for cookies and sundaes and milkshakes when I’m done!” I bribed.
“M-C-D-O-N-A-L-D-S!!!” they shouted in unison. THERE! Surely that would do it.
With the three little ones settled contentedly with books, I went to draw my bath. A BATH! That was what I needed. A long, hot soak.
I ran the water, and added the “tranquil mint” sea salt. I lit the candles, and Sade started to sing softly. And I lay in the bathtub, my eyes closed, feeling myself peacefully leave “there”….slowly, slowly the tension melted, and I could feel myself drifting from “there”…
…and then…
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MOMMMMMYYYYYY!!! Mommy can I blow out your candles?! PSSTTTTT…”
Out went the candles as Thing 3 applauded himself proudly. “Mommy, look! Look Mommy! I did it! I blew out the candles!”
“Mommy, Mommy!!! I smell something burning!” yelled Thing 1 running into the bathroom to rescue his younger brother.
Thing 2 followed shortly, dramatic tears flowing, “Why didn’t I get to blow out the candles? I NEVER get to blow out the candles! It’s not fair! You like Aaron better! WAHHHHHHH!!!!”
C-A-L-G-O-N!!!!!!!! my mind attempted to utter. Instead, I simply yielded to defeat and acquiesced to being “there”. Alas, my best effort was in vain; I was truly “there”.
I guess “Mom” really does no best. Sometimes, you just gotta be where you are.
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1.
Tracey | October 3, 2011 at 1:22 pm
Leslie – we’ve all been “there” and if you haven’t… you haven’t lived long enough. I think your surrogate mom Judy has it right…”you gotta be where you are”…there will come a time when you will look back on the current and catch yourself smiling (probably doesn’t feel like it today but you will). Our kids grow up so fast! Right now getting that long hot soak may require use of a personal or vacation day. Hang in there!
2.
Allison | November 3, 2011 at 1:25 pm
I love that you are writing!!
Believe me, with my own three in tow, I get you. I am there. Right now. Today. And it is hard as hell to get out of there. So maybe ya just gotta stop fighting it and allow yourself to be there. The only way out is through. I agree with prior reply…take a personal day…don’t tell the kids….just drop them at school, go home, get in bed, and watch movies all day in peace and quiet. And then still be okay with being there. Because it took a process to get in that place and it will take time to get out. Include a recipe of extra love, patience and self kindness. And talk to your girlfriends…because they have been there too and it is so nice to have validation, empathy and support. Love and miss ya!! XO