The fallacy of Space and Stuff

I visited my sister for two weeks this summer and slept in the same bedroom with my three children.  That is to say, I slept in a daybed (slightly larger than twin-sized), and the kids camped out on the floor in their gender-appropriate sleeping bags.  The amazing thing:  We all slept all night.

This was not a large or palatial room.  With the sleeping bags spread across the floor, there was only walking room around the perimeter.  The only furniture in the room was the daybed, a tall, narrow chest of drawers, a table which held the television and, of course, a rocking chair (added by my sister at my request).  We were comfortable.  And we were happy.

I started thinking about our six-bedroom home filled with all the requisite Stuff.  We have six beds  — one king-sized, one queen-sized, two full-sized, one twin and a crib.  Each child has his/her own bedroom, decorated according to their interests.  Ironically, the two older children sleep in sleeping bags on the floor, snuggled on opposite sides of the full-sized bed in my oldest son’s room.  The 2-year old sleeps in his crib — but protests every night as he would prefer to be in the room with his siblings.

I wake up everyday thinking, “Something’s wrong with this picture!”.  And indeed there is. But it’s not the kids and their desire to sleep in the same room or even their choice to rest nestled on the floor.  It’s the fallacy of Space and Stuff.

Space and Stuff have become the modern-day “kahunas” — we want to know that we have the biggest, the most and the best!  We buy homes with lots of Space, and then fill those homes as well as our lives and, perhaps more importantly, our children’s lives with Stuff.  Sometimes I think we use Stuff as a substitute (peace offering??) for the lack of time we spend with our kids. But of course there’s no substitute for our time.

But why do we continue to hoard Stuff?  I’m obviously as guilty as anyone. As I mentioned in my War on Stuff post, I spend a ridiculous amount of time cleaning, shuffling and shifting Stuff. My theory is that the answer to the “Stuff” question is similar to the answer to the Why men flirt question .  Simply stated:  Because we can! We have the Space to put the Stuff, therefore we continue to buy, sort, stack, organize and ultimately dispose of (or recycle) and subsequently replace the Stuff.

The truth is, we all need to “right-size”.  How much Space do we really need to live?  The answer to this question would dramatically reduce the amount of Stuff we gather.  Less Space = Less Stuff = Less Waste = Less Disposal = Eco-Nirvana!

But there’s one huge problem which I’ve already alluded to.  Remember???        Space + Stuff = KAHUNAS.  …and who wants little / slight / unsubstantial KAHUNAS?!?

So perhaps we need to reframe our thinking such that Less = More.  The size of the KAHUNAS should be inversely related to the size of the Space and hence the amount of Stuff.  Said differently, it takes BIG KAHUNAS to go against the grain and opt for a smaller Space and less Stuff.  Following the pack and acquiring lots of Space and Stuff takes, well, practically no kahunas at all.

So how about it?  Willing to bet your kahunas that less is more and “right size”?  C’mon, go for it!