The fallacy of Space and Stuff

For two weeks this summer, I slept in the same bedroom with my three children. This was not a large or palatial room, but we were comfortable. And we were happy. I started thinking about our six-bedroom home filled with all the requisite Stuff. Despite all the bedrooms and furnishings, my two older children sleep in sleeping bags on the floor in the same bedroom. I wake up everyday thinking, “Something’s wrong with this picture!”. And indeed there is. It’s the fallacy of Space and Stuff. Has Space and Stuff become our modern-day KAHUNAS???

This meeting is called to disorder

My generally mild mannered, kind, empathetic 7-year old has suddenly asserted his independence. We have been pulling our hair out trying to decide the best way to handle this new behavior, so I decided to have our first family meeting — with our 2-, 4- and 7-year olds. . I got the idea from one of my favorite parenting books, Positive Discipline. I’ll admit that the meeting got off to a rocky start. However, after calling the meeting to its appropriate level of disorder, I have three promising observations and several agreements to report.

Transitions

After a month-long hiatus, I am back to the blog! We’re all transitioning from the fun-filled but sleepy days of summer to the back-to-school craze. The school year has hit with a bang as each child faces his age-appropriate challenge. And, of course, I’m going through my own professional transition. Nonetheless, we welcome the rhythm and structure of a new year, its challenges and changes yet to be revealed.

The gift of humanity

Yesterday I had the privilege of serving food to over 100 homeless men and women as a volunteer with a DC-area non-profit, Miriam’s Kitchen. I was struck by the Miriam’s Kitchen culture of service with humanity and dignity. This non-profit has a truly tough role — they serve the chronically homeless. I worked in housing for some time and know that chronic homelessness is often related to either substance abuse and/or mental illness. So I wasn’t sure what to expect from the volunteer experience. I left the organization in awe of the staff, the volunteers and the guests we served.

You can get with this, or you can get with that

It occurred to me the other day that any time I’ve had a choice between two options, the right answer in hindsight has been to choose neither! I’ve always chosen one, rationalized why it was the right choice and later found that I’d settled for something that didn’t meet my needs. It’s easy to develop the habit of settling for less than what truly brings us joy. Women do it all the time in both our personal and professional lives. I think the fundamental issue is that we often undervalue ourselves. Settling and self-deception are outcomes of our understated self-image.

Screamfree parenting??

My all-time favorite parenting book is called Screamfree Parenting. Screamfree Parenting promotes itself as the “revolutionary approach to raising your kids by keeping your cool”. I LOVE that book. I ADORE that book. I wish I LIVED that book more often! That book helps me to understand and embrace a liberating idea: When your children go out and act like Bébé’s Kids, it’s not your fault.

Birthday Wishes

Today is my birthday! I am officially 24 years old…again. With all of you, I share these birthday wishes…

Granny

My husband’s grandmother moved in with us a few weeks ago; her home is being completed in New Orleans. Granny celebrated her 92nd birthday this year. Well, she’s really a 92-year old with a 75-year old mind and body. Having her has been a real joy. The kids instantly fell in love with her, and she has a soothing presence in the house. I must say, there’s a lot that we can learn from this 92-year old.

Bloggers Block

It’s been a while since I sat down to blog. Actually, that’s not true; I sit in front of the computer everyday. It’s been a while since thoughts have flowed freely from my brain into a meaningful post…or even one that seems interesting. I’m afraid I have a bad case of “Bloggers Block”. So what’s blocking the blogger? Maybe if I put all of the “blockers” in writing, the blogs will once again start a-flowing. So here it goes…

Why men flirt

Last week, I had dinner with a former classmate and very dear friend. P. is a bit of a reformed player. He’s happily married to a woman he ADORES, and he treats her extraordinarily well. At the end of the night, I took a poll of some of my friends to understand why men flirt. Their answer was unanimous.